Family Caregiver Connection
Helpful tips for family caregivers
May/June 2024
Eighty percent of family caregivers help a relative with transportation. But sometimes you don’t live close, or just aren’t available. Lyft and Uber are great options, but not all older adults are tech savvy. Fortunately, both companies have now set up services that can be requested without the need for an app. In our middle article we talk about vascular dementia. While the majority of people with dementia have Alzheimer’s disease, dementia caused by a stroke or other interruption of blood to the brain is quite common (10% to 20%). In our last article we look at the difference between sadness and depression. The former, while painful, can actually spur us to action. The latter saps initiative and can be debilitating long term if it goes untreated.
Ride hailing for older adults
Transportation problems create unhealthy social isolation for many older adults. Rides from family and friends are the first thought, but they aren’t always available, limiting your loved one’s opportunities. And older adults often feel uncomfortable being beholden to others for their transportation—and, ironically—for their “independence.”
Ride services offer an alternative in many parts of the country. But what to do if your loved one is not tech savvy? Innovators at both Uber and Lyft are pioneering app-free, phone-based, senior-friendly programs. All three services enable your loved one to speak to a live operator at some point to get a cost estimate for the ride and information for identifying the driver. Ask if help getting in and out of the car is available. Ride hailing is not appropriate if the person you care for has dementia. It’s not safe for your relative and is beyond a driver’s ability to support.
| Uber | Lyft with Lively™ phone (“Jitterbug”) | Lyft or Uber through GoGoGrandparent.com |
|---|---|---|
| Must call from text-enabled phone. | Must call from a Lively phone. | Can call from landline or mobile. |
| Must set up an Uber account for payment. Can be done over the phone at first call for a ride. There is no extra fee. | Use existing Lively phone account for payment. Cost of the ride gets added to the monthly phone bill. A per-ride concierge service fee also applies. | Must set up an account at GoGoGrandparent.com (with monthly fees). GoGo will pay ride service plus add a per-minute fee for their concierge service. |
| Can ask for extra assistance. Consider extra tip. | Can ask for extra assistance. Consider extra tip, though they say it’s not required. | Rider is expected to be able to get into and out of the car without assistance. |
| Confirmation and ride info will arrive by text. | Confirmation and ride info are texted to the Lively phone. | Confirmation and ride info are given verbally. Will receive a call when driver is close by. |
| Call: 1-833-USE-UBER (1-833-873-8237). Will be connected to a live person. |
Press “0” when on Lively phone. Will be connected to a live person. | Call: 1-855-464-6872. Pick from voice menu. Can select “Talk to an operator.” |
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What is "vascular dementia"?
About 10% to 20% of cognitive impairments are a result of vascular dementia, also called “stroke dementia.”
Vascular dementia arises when the blood supply to the brain is interrupted by a blood clot or from bleeding in the brain (for instance, after hitting one’s head during a fall). Vascular dementia can come on suddenly, from a stroke. Or gradually over time (from “TIAs” or “ministrokes”).
A stroke doesn’t always result in dementia. Think of it like a power outage in different neighborhoods of the brain. A stroke can affect movement, speech, vision, thought, and/or language, depending on where the “outage” occurred and how long it lasted.
Vascular dementia may include changes to memory, logical thinking, emotional stability (depression or sudden bouts of crying), and/or unusual behaviors. Because repeated strokes and ministrokes can happen any time, the decline of vascular dementia is less predictable than that of Alzheimer’s, and can be more unsettling.
Risks and prevention. People at high risk for vascular dementia are those with conditions that affect the cardiovascular system: High blood pressure, atrial fibrillation, high cholesterol, obesity, diabetes, smoking, and a sedentary lifestyle. Addressing these factors helps reduce the likelihood of vascular dementia starting or worsening.
A full medical evaluation will identify which parts of the brain are struggling. This may reveal steps to stop or slow further progression.
Catch a stroke early. If a stroke is caught within the first three hours, the chances of recovery are much improved. Think “F-A-S-T”: Face: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop? Arms: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? Speech: Ask the person to repeat a simple sentence. Is their speech slurred or difficult to understand? Time: Call 911 for an ambulance if you see any of these signs.
Return to topSadness isn't all bad
Many aspects of aging involve sadness and loss: Loss of independence, a serious diagnosis, death of a partner, spouse, or friend. You as a family member may experience sadness as you witness your loved one’s struggles. But also, for your own caregiving-related losses, such as of leisure time with friends and family or opportunities at work.
Sadness is an important emotion and one that we all feel. It’s our natural response to loss or defeat. According to noted researcher Brené Brown, the fact that we all feel it is in some ways its strength. When we feel sad, we are moved. (It’s why we like sad movies.) We can relate to the sadness of others. It helps us feel connected—to feel our common humanity.
When we are sad, we feel better when someone reaches out to us. The acknowledgment is helpful. They too have felt sadness in their lives.
Sadness helps us become more compassionate, more empathetic. It can also prompt us to reevaluate our life and priorities and perhaps ask for help from others.
Sadness is different from depression. Sadness may be a part of depression, but in its intense form—for instance, tearful crying—sadness comes and goes. Depression lasts for an extended time (two weeks or more). Rather than tears, depression commonly shows up as a loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities. Also, problems concentrating and staying engaged. Depression includes physical symptoms such as lack of energy, sleep problems (insomnia or sleeping too much), or eating irregularities (a lack of appetite or overeating). Sadness is not something one treats. Depression is generally treatable.
Older adults have a high incidence of depression. So do family caregivers. If you recognize signs of depression in yourself or in the person you care for, reach out. Talk to a doctor or therapist.
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