Because We Care
Practical tips for family caregivers

Memorial Day Observance

As you explore these articles, we at Trellis Supportive Care would like to invite you to our upcoming Memorial Day Observance on May 22nd, 2025, from 11:30 AM to 12:00 PM. The ceremony will take place on our Winston-Salem campus at the Veteran Memorial Garden, in front of our KBR Hospice Home. Following the observance, please stay for lunch at our Education and Counseling Center, where we will gather to reflect and connect. Please call or contact the Trellis Supportive Care Programming Team to register for the event.

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Planning a celebration of life

Eventually the time will come to recognize a loved one’s death. Do you know what kind of memorial they would like? Asking now, you might get a wave off: “I’ll be gone, so do whatever you want!” Or you might get some very specific feedback. These days, there are many possibilities. Funerals, with burials, generally happen within a week of death. They are traditionally formal and focus on loss. By contrast, a celebration of life can occur at a time and place, and in a style, that reflects your loved one.

When designing a celebration of life, the options are wide open. Consider the celebration an opportunity for people to share stories, tears, laughter, and gratitude in tribute to your relative. The event might be big, small, formal, or informal—whatever matches your priorities. Here are some examples to discuss with your family member or for you to think about, if discussion isn’t possible:

• Host a small group for lunch in a private room at a favorite restaurant or have a catered lunch or tea at someone’s home. An intimate circle provides time for each person to share some memories.
• Gather at your relative’s beloved nature spot, be it beach or mountainside, for a day. Start with a ceremony of honor and reminiscence, and then enjoy the outdoors and a potluck together.
• Rent a hall or other community space, hire musicians (bagpipe? harp?) and a caterer. Choose a master of ceremonies, and ask several people who were close with your relative to give tributes, perhaps each covering a different period of your loved one’s life. Provide an open mic for others to add their stories.
• Make it a virtual celebration so friends and family from anywhere in the world can participate. Everyone can share stories and display photos and contribute to a digital memory board.

Personalize it. No matter what the venue or size of gathering, consider creating a slideshow or memory table with photos or keepsakes. Add music, reading, or videos that reflect your loved one’s interests and spirit. You might include an interactive element, such as asking guests to bring a photo or favorite quote for a memory book, or offering them something symbolic to take home.

Get support. Ask a cherished spiritual leader, friend, or celebrant to help lead the event. Lean on friends and family for help setting up, managing tech, or handling music. Having support will help you remain present as you celebrate and honor your family member’s life.

What is "prediabetes"?

The term “prediabetes” refers to a blood sugar level that is consistently higher than normal over time. It’s a common, symptomless condition that can lead to type 2 diabetes if not addressed. The good news: while almost 50% of older adults test into this category, research shows that few go on to develop diabetes—particularly if lifestyle changes are made.

Still, it’s important that the doctor check your loved one’s blood sugar levels regularly. Prediabetes (also known as borderline diabetes or glucose intolerance) can increase the risk of heart attack and stroke.

That might sound dire, but there’s more good news: rather than write a prescription, medical professionals usually recommend lifestyle changes for prediabetes. If your relative is dealing with this condition, some basic changes can lower their blood sugar levels before they become a problem. Support your loved one toward these strategies:

Healthy eating. Limiting processed foods is smart for everyone. Encourage your loved one to eat a variety of nutritious foods, such as lean proteins, vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Treats are fine, in moderation.

More movement. Aim for about 150 minutes of movement a week. It can be whatever your relative likes: water aerobics, walking, tai chi, dancing, and even chair exercises. Check with your loved one’s doctor first for any cautions.

Weight loss. We’re talking modest weight loss goals. Shedding just 5% to 7% of body weight may be all it takes to bring down those blood sugar levels. And your loved one might achieve that loss simply by eating more vegetables and increasing activity.

Medical researchers studying prediabetes say that these lifestyle adaptations (as well as not smoking) are key to health for older adults. And while blood sugar levels are important, high cholesterol and high blood pressure are major risk factors for disease as well. They also should be monitored regularly by your relative’s physician.

Choosing a nursing home

Choosing a nursing home for your loved one is a big decision. You want them to have excellent care, as well as safety and comfort. Nursing homes do offer 24/7 medical supervision and daily assistance, but they vary in quality. Here are some tips for conducting a search:

Do some research. Online, Medicare’s Care Compare tool lets you assess facilities based on ratings, health inspections, and staffing levels. (Just be aware some information may not be current.) Also, contact the local Area Agency on Aging or long-term care ombudsman in your relative’s location. They can provide local recommendations and reports on complaints. If your relative has dementia, look for a secure memory-care unit and specialized programs.

Visit and observe. Nothing replaces an in-person visit. Are residents well groomed and engaged? Staff friendly? Is the facility clean and orderly? Visit at mealtime to check food quality and how residents are helped. Watch how fast staff respond to call lights—delays may mean understaffing. Ideally, visit several times, including a weekend when staff levels often drop.

Check staffing and turnover. Having low staff-to-resident ratios and familiar caregivers matters. Experts recommend one nurse aide for every seven residents on the day shift. Talk with the aides about how long they’ve been there. High turnover can lead to inconsistent care. Be wary if the facility relies heavily on temporary staff who may not know residents’ needs well.

Ask questions. Talk to administrators, staff, and residents’ families. Ask about staff experience, emergency procedures, infection control, and fall prevention. Learn about activities, social engagement, and family councils. Medicare offers an online checklist of questions to ask. Above all, trust your instincts: if something feels off, keep looking.

Review the contract carefully. Before signing, review costs, policies on rate increases, and what services are included. Ask what happens if private funds run out—will Medicaid be accepted or will your relative have to move? An elder law attorney can also provide guidance.